Part I: répondez s’il vous plait (RSVP)

As a consultant and a blogger, part of my job is to educate my clients and readers. This week I would like to focus on etiquette. One is my personal pet peeves and a HUGE issue many bridal couples run into is when guests do not carry out the one simple, but major responsibility they have. That responsibility is to répondez s’il vous plait, which is French for “please reply” to your invitation.

It is not a mere suggestion that you reply, but it is a mandatory request. Seriously, do you think the couple would have went through the trouble of ordering custom reply cards that match the invitations and paid for a pre-stamped envelope and not expect you to reply?

Um, how hard is this?

From the perspective of the bridal couple, here is the list of what they had to accomplish just to get the invitations and reply cards to you.

1. Determine their budget
2. Decide on a venue(s)
3. Determine how many guests both their budget and venue(s) can accommodate
4. Determine how many guests each of them can invite (each family is allotted half the total number of guests)
5. Create and organize a guest list
6. Find out or obtain up-to-date contact information for every person on the guest list
7. Decide on invitation themes and ensembles
8. Place an order for the invitation ensembles
9. Address and mail invitations out approximately 6 to 8 weeks before the event date
10. Give guests time to reply to the invitations
11. Receive some reply cards back and make note of them on the guest list
12. Wait patiently a bit longer for more guests to reply to invitations
13. After much patience and the receipt of more reply cards, the bridal couple may choose contact those they thought were coming to confirm receipt of invitation and to remind them to reply
14. Upon tallying up the reply cards, the wedding planner or bridal couple will give a final head count to the caterer to ensure their is enough food for each guest.

Now from the perspective the invited guest, here is the list of what you have to do.

1. Receive the invitation in the mail
2. Open the invitation and read it
3. Decided if you will be attending the event
4. Fill out the reply card as requested by the bridal couple
5. Put the reply card in the pre-stamped envelope
6. Seal it tight and mail it as soon as possible

How hard was that?

I imagine your tasks were not as challenging as the bridal couple’s tasks were for both creating the guest lists and getting the invitations out to you.

As a guest, especially, if you are a family member you may be thinking,

“Well Kaitlin and John should know that we are coming to their wedding,

so why do I have to fill out a reply card. After all, Kaitlin and I are first cousins?”

Please hold that thought and join me tomorrow as I address more etiquette issues concerning wedding invitations and the proper etiquette for replying to them, in addition to the “dos” and “don’ts”.

Photo Source: Wedding Paper Divas