wedding planning advice

Maid or Matron of Honor?

July 18, 2010 by Tabitha

What is the difference?

The only difference between the two is that a maid of honor is an unmarried attendant. Whereas, a matron of honor is a married attendant and both can be thought of as your lead bridesmaid.

Do you have to have both?

No, it is completely up to you. However, if you want both a maid and matron of honor, you can have both. In this situation, the maid of honor’s role takes precedence during wedding ceremony (i.e. arranging your veil, holding your bouquet, and signing your marriage license). However, it is perfectly find for them both to share responsibilities like planning your bachelorette party or bridal shower together; and they can each share duties on your wedding day.

FYI: Did you know that an “honor attendant” is when a bride has a male as her lead attendant instead of a maid or matron of honor; or when a groom has a female in lieu of a best man?

*Originally published in May 2009 (content has been modified).

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When to Send Thank You Notes

July 5, 2010 by Tabitha

Today, I wish to discuss the timeframe that you should send out “thank you” notes for gifts received at your engagement party, bridal showers, and on the day of your wedding.

For engagement parties and bridal showers, you should send a “thank you” note out within two to three weeks of receiving the gifts. As for wedding gifts, there are three different times that you may receive gifts from people–before your wedding, the wedding day, and after your wedding.

If you receive any wedding gifts before the wedding date, you should immediately send a “thank you” note upon receipt. For wedding gifts that are received on the actual wedding date, ideally you want to have all “thank you” notes mailed within three months of the wedding. If you receive any wedding gifts after the wedding date, you should send a “thank you” note within two to three weeks of receiving the gift.

Please remember that each “thank you” note must be personalized. The best way to do this is to mention the gift by name in the note, tell the giver how you will use the gift, and sincerely express your appreciation for the gift and their attendance at your wedding (if they attended). Lastly, your “thank you” note must be handwritten. Never send out a generic “thank you” note.

*Originally published in October 2008

Photo from After College

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Destination Weddings – Residency Requirements for Legal Marriages

April 20, 2010 by Tabitha

Thus far, I have provided you with an overview of things to consider when deciding on your wedding destination, followed by whether or not you envision having a civil or religious wedding ceremony. Today, I wanted to discuss residency requirements for destination weddings.

In order to get married abroad be it the Caribbean, Europe, or the South Pacific, many of these beautiful and exotic locations require a minimum residency stay before exchanging vows and making your marriage legal. Residency requirements can range from being on an island for just 24 hours to three days to a month, what have you? It all depends on where you want to go.

Therefore, you must factor in the residency requirements when deciding on where to host your destination wedding in order to determine if the residency requirements are realistically within your wedding budget. For example, if you wanted to get married on the beautiful and tropical island of St Barthelemy (St. Barts), then you should know that in order to legally marry there, you will be required to be a resident there for forty days, which is the case for all French territories. This will significantly add to your wedding expenses because you will have to rent out an apartment and live there as a resident for that period of time before you can legally marry there.

Therefore, the gorgeous island of St. Barts can quickly become unattractive for a destination wedding location at least when the residency requirement is taken into consideration. However, by working with a destination wedding specialist, s/he will inform you of other similar options to host your destination wedding with less complicating residency requirements.

For example, in lieu of St. Barts, the Dutch side of St. Maarten (not the French side, St. Martin) or the tranquil island of Anguilla are both great alternate destination wedding locations because the residency requirements for getting married are a less stringent. And best of all,these two islands are so close to St. Barts, that after your wedding weekend festivities, the two of you can easily honeymoon in St. Barts, which is easily accessible by ferry from St. Maarten/St. Martin or a chartered boat from Anguilla.

I have decided to feature subsequent blog posts on some of the popular and most exclusive islands to host destination weddings. So, please come back to visit often or better yet subscribe to this wedding blog.

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Seating Logistics: Accessibility, Noise Levels & Family Dynamics

April 18, 2010 by Tabitha

When assigning seats for your wedding reception, please take the following into consideration:

  • Accessibility – Are there any guests that are physically disabled? If so, assign them to a table that is close to an entrance/exit point. For example, if your grandmother uses a walker to balance, then you do not want to assign her to a table that is on the opposite side of an entrance, nor do you want to place any disabled guests in an area where they may have a difficult time getting around the room or to their assigned table.
  • Noise Level – One of the key things I pointed out when I discussed the benefits of creating a floor plan, was that by creating a floor plan you will have a visual of the room’s layout including a designated area to where the band or DJ will be located. Obviously, this is important because you will want to avoid assigning any guests to tables near the band if you suspect they may may get annoyed with the noise level of the band, for example, any elderly guests and even guests who may bring their infants.
  • Family Dynamics – Simply put, are there any members of your family who have a difficult time getting along or being cordial with each other? If so, please do not seat them with or near each other. Sure your wedding is a time to bring people together, but not at the expense of your wedding day turning sour. Sometimes we like to think people will put their differences aside for such a special occasion, but I can tell you that it does notalways work out that way.

{This is a re-post and content has been modified. Originally published on our old blog in June 2009}

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Destination Weddings – Choosing the Location

April 16, 2010 by Tabitha

The process of choosing a location for your destination wedding is similar to choosing a honeymoon destination. Following, I have outlined a few things you need to determine when deciding on your destination wedding location.

How far do you want to travel?

A destination wedding can take place internationally or domestically. In other words, the term “destination wedding” does not necessarily mean you have to travel outside the country. In fact, your ideal destination may not even require you to leave your state.

Of course, if you decide you want to travel abroad, then the possibility of places to host your wedding is plenteous and this is where a destination wedding specialist in your locale can educate you and help you narrow down your choices as to the best destinations to host your wedding based on the following:

What type of setting do you envision for your wedding?

By figuring out the type of setting you envision for your wedding and the specific things you want to see and do, you and your destination wedding planner can narrow down a list of potential places to host your destination wedding. For example, if your widest dream is to get married underwater in the beautiful waters of the Caribbean, your destination wedding specialist can tell you exactly where that is possible and the requirements for such an adventurous wedding.

As for the things you want to see and do, think about activities or shared hobbies you both enjoy the most—surfing, scuba diving, golf, snorkeling, skiing, hiking, spa vacations, etc.? Next, can you imagine not enjoying these things on your destination wedding vacation? By coming to a consensus of the things you both want to see and do, you and your destination wedding planner can further narrow down your options in the land of infinite possibilities.

How many attendants and guests are you planning to invite?

The size of your wedding is very important because it will determine what locations can accommodate your event. The average number of guests that attend a destination wedding is a slightly less than 50. It could be that you already have a specific place in mine. However, if you have a large guest list, the location may not be able to accommodate your wedding size. The rule of thumb with hosting a destination wedding is “less is more”. Destination weddings are often intended to be more intimate than the traditional wedding, in that it primarily comprises of only your closest family and friends.

The questions I have outlined are just a few things for you to determine that will help you narrow down the options of where to have your destination wedding. There are other things to you need to take into consideration that will help you narrow down your options, such as whether you want a religious or civil ceremony.

I will talk more about this in Monday’s blog post. Stay tuned by subscribing to my blog!

{This is a re-post and content has been modified. Originally published on my old blog in 2009}

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Engagement and Wedding Announcements – Raleigh, NC

January 19, 2010 by Tabitha

The News and Observer has made it very easy for you to create and submit your engagement or wedding announcements online. With just a few steps, their website allows you to choose a layout for your announcement, compose the information, and upload your photo. In addition, you will receive an instant price quote, so you can immediately pay for and submit your announcement online.
Their website also allows you to submit engagement and wedding announcements for the following publications:
  • The News and Observer Arts and Living Sunday Section
  • The Chapel Hill News
  • The Cary News
  • The Durham News
  • Eastern Wake News
  • Garner Clayton News
  • Midtown Raleigh News
  • North Raleigh News
  • The Herald Smithfield
  • Southwest Wake News
How convenient is it that you can submit your announcements for any region in the Triangle area in just one place?
The deadline to submit your announcement is 3:00 p.m. on Thursdays. Please note that your announcement must be submitted 10 days prior to the Sunday publication you wish for your engagement or wedding announcement to appear.
What’s the difference between engagement and wedding announcements?
An engagement announcement announces your engagement and would be published in your local and hometown publications months in advance, usually three months at minimum and no more than six months from your wedding date. Wedding announcements are made after your wedding to announce your marriage, usually the weekend of your wedding. However, it can run a few weeks or a couple of months later.

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Five Tips for Wedding Vendor Contracts

January 6, 2010 by Tabitha

I initially posted these five bits of advice about hiring wedding vendors and signing service agreements back in April 2009, but I wanted to republish them for all of you recently engaged brides.
  • Get it in writing! Before you pay a retainer or non-refundable deposit to any vendor for wedding services, it is imperative that you have all arrangements in writing in the form of a service agreement, signed by both you and the respective vendor. Never ever pay a retainer to a vendor without a contract. If they do not have a service agreement for you to sign and you want to hire them, then draw up your own written service agreement.
  • Do not sign a contract until you have read every line. You absolutely should read every service agreement you sign to make sure you understand the vendor’s terms and conditions for services. If there is something that you do not agree to, then by all means let the vendor know to see if you can come to a mutually agreed upon term. This not to say that a vendor should rewrite his or her entire contract for you because this is not likely to happen due to the fact that contracts are designed to cover and protect the parties involved.
  • Review all vendor contracts. Every vendor contract should at least include the following: your event date, the start and end times, including set up time, a cancellation policy and a service description including any custom details or special requests that you discussed. In addition, the contract should have both a fee and payment schedule. The fee schedule should clearly outline what’s included in the base or quoted price, the price of any additional services if you requested any, and the cost of overtime should your event go over the amount of hours included in the service. The payment schedule should include your retainer, which is due at the time of signing the contract and it should also clearly outline the due dates of remaining payments.
  • Pay with a credit card. If possible pay for vendor services with a credit card. In this way, if there is a problem and you think in full conscious that you deserve a refund for services and the vendor denies you a refund, you will have a much better chance of obtaining that refund than if you had paid with cash or check because you can fail a claim. Another perk to using a credit is that you can earn points, for example for air mileage and in come cases cash-back and this may help you pay for your honeymoon. Please note that when I say pay with a credit card, I am not saying use your credit cards to finance your wedding as in get in debt.
  • Go with your gut instincts. If it’s something that does not sit well with you about a vendor and or his contract, then by all means trust your instincts and locate someone else to provide that service for you.
Should your wedding planner sign your vendor contracts? Get the answer by clicking here.

Photo: Quick Purchase

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